"And you know, for sure, that it hasn't moved? That you don't have scar tissue that's built up and pushed it?" Bashir thinks he ought to get some sort of scan, but it's Crais' choice.
"But, if you just want a sort of, hmm, like a cap or cover, that should be easy enough."
"I do not, but I am also more concerned with it being hijacked than I am about it's physical location or vulnerability."
He really does not trust the hospitals here. He should, but his paranoia on that front is intense. He'll deal with it, with Julian, though. Not without him. Period.
"When you've drawn up as much as you have, I'll review it and let you know if I can come up with anything clever." He can and will, because that's just the sort of thing he does. "I've the scans I've taken with my tricorder, so that's a good start, but I want to do this right."
"If I didn't think you did, I'd pull it out and leave it on your coffee table." That established - and he will get the thing done before he leaves the apartment - he moves on. "Now, tell me what has been happening with you."
"Mmm, nothing exceptional. Work, more work, got half-drunk off spores and ate waffles with Nate." He's had some trouble with Tumenalia, but that's not really something he wants to delve into too deeply. "I had a surprising number of people asked me to expand on being a sadist and, ah, a bit of a spat with Jadzia."
"I pushed her about whether or not she's started looking for her contract and she has not, nor does she plan to, as far as I can tell." He wriggles in place and pulls up the conversation on his comm device and shows it to Crais. "I know her, and pushing her harder will just make her even more stubborn."
"I'm afraid for her, because she's going to go to prison, because 'how bad can it be'." Julian knows he's about to start fussing, so he distracts himself by running a hand over Crais' arm and tangling their fingers together. "I've been to prison. And, and even though it was a very different sort, I will not go through that again."
"She's going to get hurt. She's one of my dearest friends and she's going to get hurt terribly, and I don't think I can stop it from happening." It feels like it ought to be his responsibility, but in his heart, he knows it's not. Dax is as Dax is. Ezri would've contracted, she'd have found a pocket of safety first before fighting back, but Jadzia? Well.
"When all is said and done, she will be hurt and she will come to me for help. Or to apologize. Or to lie and say that it wasn't so bad." He squeezes Crais' hand, just once. "And I know I ought not borrow tomorrow's troubles for today."
"It's stupid, it's short-sighted, it's selfish, and it's going to hurt you." Which, frankly, pisses him off - enormously. "And if you try to help her and end up miserable yourself, I will kill her."
He may or may not be using hyperbole but mad? Oh. Oh yes.
Bashir presses a quick kiss to Crais' temple. It really is a good thing that he's grown so used to the way Cardassians express affection because he understands the sentiment perfectly.
"Yes, but it's her choice and that's not something I can take from her."
"No. Your choice will be how you handle her stupidity." Meaning Bashir not getting self-destructive himself. Otherwise Crais might kill them both. Okay, not Bashir. Bashir has a general pass - overall - but still.
"Now, why are you surprised by the interest in sadism?"
"I'm not surprised by a general interest, but more that people were curious to talk to me about it." Then again, thanks to Crais, he's had to talk about contracts and kinks to more people than he'd originally planned to. "I still don't know that I agree with 'sadist', but I like to push other people's limits."
Hurting people is fine, harming them is another thing and one he wants to avoid.
"Who were the people who talked to you about it and where is your point of discord with the label." Yeah, yeah he could be more delicate and elegant, but it's Bashir so why even waste energy trying and failing.
Bashir just leaves his unlocked device with Crais. He could look it up, or even recite it all from memory, but why waste the energy?
"And, I don't know. It's just not how I've seen myself? Not something I've needed or participated in." Briefly, Bashir considered biting Crais' shoulder to emphasize his point, but he suspects that might be counterproductive. "I like sex. I do, I just ..."
If most people had abruptly bitten Crais, he might have been tempted to deck them. Someone he has even somewhat regular sex with and is a friend? He yelps in surprise on his inhale, but the exhale is a groan.
"You can be intellectually sadistic to go with intellectually hedonistic?" he offers, a bit bemused. "And kindly sadistic for that matter, or just not exclusively sadistic?"
"Please, please do not ask all of Duplicity to speak to you about sadism. Talk to Cyram. Talk to me. Talk to any one you know and who can confirm is neither an idiot nor a psychopath."
Look, even head back so Julian can nuzzle he is not shy in his opinion of many people in Duplicity's approach to BDSM.
"I wasn't planning to ask the lot." Yes, good, Crais needs to rest on Julian. He's a comfortable friend and that's important. "Rumour has it, I'm actually somewhat clever at times."
He growls softly at Julian, but it bleeds off into a groan, "That given how much you enjoy arranging to have people see their fantasies fulfilled and enabling them to pursuit of their pleasure, sometimes pain fits neatly into that while also keeping people safe."
That out of the way - and that's a lot of... intellectual knowledge. "It's also satisfying and fun."
"And I understand that, especially given that I can enjoy it myself." Given how he's reacted when Crais has bitten him, that's probably not any surprise. "I want to know more and I can read a sea of books, talk to all sorts of people, but I also want to understand in a practical way."
He pauses and considers what would work best. "We need a list."
"Something like that." He's perfectly content to stay on the sofa and not move beyond settling Crais against his chest. As they talk, he's going to just absently run his fingers over whatever bits are in reach.
"Right, let's see what ought to be on the list." Bashir's had an informal count of things that might be interesting to try. "I quite liked seeing you when you were exhausted and I'd like to try that for myself."
He's contentedly settled, though he's keeping the arm, thank you, and not so much petting Bashir as moving his fingers around to watch the tendons in his wrist move and just enjoying the contact.
"With one person, possibly with toys, or multiple people?"
"I'm not innately opposed to any of those, but for now, let's just keep it to 'one person, possibly with toys'. I don't know how I'd react, so limiting the number of participants seems wise." He'd trust Crais with that, but not many other people. Maybe the Doctor, although they generally leave each other's sex lives well alone.
"I've never been with more than one partner at a time."
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"But, if you just want a sort of, hmm, like a cap or cover, that should be easy enough."
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He really does not trust the hospitals here. He should, but his paranoia on that front is intense. He'll deal with it, with Julian, though. Not without him. Period.
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Translation: 'You're important to me.'
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He cares about you, too.
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"A bit pushy on my part."
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There is a lot there to deal with and he does want to deal with it all - and intends to. "Start with Dax. What was the spat and how were you pushy?"
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"I'm afraid for her, because she's going to go to prison, because 'how bad can it be'." Julian knows he's about to start fussing, so he distracts himself by running a hand over Crais' arm and tangling their fingers together. "I've been to prison. And, and even though it was a very different sort, I will not go through that again."
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He is... silent and actually trying to mitigate what he wants to say for once in a very long time.
and still comes out with, "That is stupid and selfish."
Which means what he didn't say was even worse.
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"When all is said and done, she will be hurt and she will come to me for help. Or to apologize. Or to lie and say that it wasn't so bad." He squeezes Crais' hand, just once. "And I know I ought not borrow tomorrow's troubles for today."
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He may or may not be using hyperbole but mad? Oh. Oh yes.
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"Yes, but it's her choice and that's not something I can take from her."
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"Now, why are you surprised by the interest in sadism?"
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"I'm not surprised by a general interest, but more that people were curious to talk to me about it." Then again, thanks to Crais, he's had to talk about contracts and kinks to more people than he'd originally planned to. "I still don't know that I agree with 'sadist', but I like to push other people's limits."
Hurting people is fine, harming them is another thing and one he wants to avoid.
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"And, I don't know. It's just not how I've seen myself? Not something I've needed or participated in." Briefly, Bashir considered biting Crais' shoulder to emphasize his point, but he suspects that might be counterproductive. "I like sex. I do, I just ..."
He trails off. And bites him anyway.
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"You can be intellectually sadistic to go with intellectually hedonistic?" he offers, a bit bemused. "And kindly sadistic for that matter, or just not exclusively sadistic?"
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"I was talking with Dorian, and he suggested I go to the network and ask about sadism, but I don't know if that's the right tactic for me."
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Look, even head back so Julian can nuzzle he is not shy in his opinion of many people in Duplicity's approach to BDSM.
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Bite.
"And what would you tell me, hmm?"
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That out of the way - and that's a lot of... intellectual knowledge. "It's also satisfying and fun."
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He pauses and considers what would work best. "We need a list."
For science.
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What he is saying, here, is that he is not moving. Not more than putting Bashir's device down to drag Bashir's arm over and around him.
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"Right, let's see what ought to be on the list." Bashir's had an informal count of things that might be interesting to try. "I quite liked seeing you when you were exhausted and I'd like to try that for myself."
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"With one person, possibly with toys, or multiple people?"
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"I've never been with more than one partner at a time."
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